I remember playing monster with my kids when they were little, lying under a blanket in the middle of the living room while they scampered lightly from couch to chair to couch.
“Having young adult children means laying down the life you thought you were creating for them and trusting the life they are creating for themselves.” Yes. 💜
First of all, I love your writing. It invites me in to see, feel, and hear. I reread more than once the part where you write of "laying down the life you thought you were creating for them and trusting the life they are creating for themselves." That resonated with me. When I'm with my son and step-daughters I experience an inner dialogue. I earnestly attempt to embrace the independent adults they are now. It's an ongoing letting go of my identity as a mother whose young children need her to a mother of adult children.
Having to trust your kids with their life choices is incredible practice for leaning in to trust them with your future life choices down the line. Is there a reciprocal action if you let them go that they in turn will respect your decisions in your later stages of life? Never easy - sometimes gut wrenching.
Beautiful prose, Shawn! Your words are poignant and hopeful. I wasn’t prepared for how much parenting would be a combination of instinct and floundering in the dark, and neither are wholly good or wholly bad. Thanks for sharing your wisdom from a few years down the road…my oldest is 16.
Thanks, Christiana. The balancing act of control and letting go as our kids have gotten older has been, for me, the trickiest part. But seeing them unfurl into adulthood is such a wonderful thing.
✨️ I love this reflection, Shawn. My son is 20 now. Born a daughter, I've supported him through his determining who he feels he is and wants to be. I trust him and the journey he is living, and the one he is mapping out for himself. My reward for trusting him is the mutuality of that trust and his continuing to want to communicate with me,and visit me during vacations from university, etc. He's a great person and I savor the time we have together...continuing to make shared memories together. ❤️
This line gets me good: “Having young adult children means laying down the life you thought you were creating for them and trusting the life they are creating for themselves.”
“Having young adult children means laying down the life you thought you were creating for them and trusting the life they are creating for themselves.” Yes. 💜
Thanks, Ruth.
First of all, I love your writing. It invites me in to see, feel, and hear. I reread more than once the part where you write of "laying down the life you thought you were creating for them and trusting the life they are creating for themselves." That resonated with me. When I'm with my son and step-daughters I experience an inner dialogue. I earnestly attempt to embrace the independent adults they are now. It's an ongoing letting go of my identity as a mother whose young children need her to a mother of adult children.
So true, Karen. Thanks.
Having to trust your kids with their life choices is incredible practice for leaning in to trust them with your future life choices down the line. Is there a reciprocal action if you let them go that they in turn will respect your decisions in your later stages of life? Never easy - sometimes gut wrenching.
Great point, Jen.
Beautiful prose, Shawn! Your words are poignant and hopeful. I wasn’t prepared for how much parenting would be a combination of instinct and floundering in the dark, and neither are wholly good or wholly bad. Thanks for sharing your wisdom from a few years down the road…my oldest is 16.
Thanks, Christiana. The balancing act of control and letting go as our kids have gotten older has been, for me, the trickiest part. But seeing them unfurl into adulthood is such a wonderful thing.
Beautiful thougts and you sound like a great Dad.
You're very kind, Mary.
✨️ I love this reflection, Shawn. My son is 20 now. Born a daughter, I've supported him through his determining who he feels he is and wants to be. I trust him and the journey he is living, and the one he is mapping out for himself. My reward for trusting him is the mutuality of that trust and his continuing to want to communicate with me,and visit me during vacations from university, etc. He's a great person and I savor the time we have together...continuing to make shared memories together. ❤️
Thanks for sharing, Karen. I really appreciate that.
This line gets me good: “Having young adult children means laying down the life you thought you were creating for them and trusting the life they are creating for themselves.”
Letting go has been the hardest part of parenting, and the most trust-developing.