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Kelly Flanagan's avatar

My wife is Portuguese and her favorite Portuguese word is “saudade,” pronounced saw-dauj-aye, I believe. It means the presence of absence. It’s how we continue to love those who have left us. Blessings upon your family as you continue to love your father-in-law in that way.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thanks, Kelly. I love that word.

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Maria in Chios island, Greece's avatar

Sa-oo-duh-gee, at least in brazilian portuguese

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Kelly Flanagan's avatar

Thank you for the proper translation, @Maria in Chios island, Greece!

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Casey Bottono's avatar

Shawn,

I am so sorry for the loss of Maile's dad, your father in law.

After I somehow stumbled on 'Refuse to Drown', I stayed for your deep wisdom on the emotional underworld.

You've always offered a measure of solace to me, and for that I am grateful.

'The inarguable reality of his absence' - I'm three years into an experience of grieving my friend Steve's choice to end his life.

It seems to be only now that it's sinking in.

Wishing you and your family peace and comfort in the days ahead.

Casey

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Sarah Moore's avatar

Suicide has touched my life, as well. I grieve with you. May Steve’s memory be a blessing.

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Casey Bottono's avatar

Thank you.

I am so sorry for your loss. ❤️

Take care,

Casey

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

I'm sorry, Casey. Thanks for your kind words.

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Kristin Potler's avatar

I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was bigger than life. It also seems that his great love for family lives on.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thanks, Kristin.

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Jody L. Collins's avatar

Oh my, what a remarkable capture of family love and history and life stories. These lines especially touched me, Shawn, "Because with death there is always that interminable ocean, dark and foreboding, something we can’t see beyond. Uncrossable for now. And while there is hope (“We do not mourn as those without hope”), there is also the inarguable reality of his absence.

This is where we must continue living, all of us, on this near shore, waiting and hoping."

It's the continuing to live that must be the hardest. May God be near you and Maile and your kids.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thank you, Jody.

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Sarah Moore's avatar

May his memory be a blessing.

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Priscilla Harvey's avatar

I’m so sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing this. It’s beautiful and so heart felt.

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MJ Lau's avatar

A beautiful and thoughtful tribute.

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Linda MacKillop's avatar

You captured both the beauty of his life and the pain of his loss. This is a powerful piece. So sorry for this empty place in your lives.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thanks, Linda.

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Jo Burr's avatar

What a beautiful post. I am sorry for your loss. He seems like a wonderful man!

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

He really was, Jo.

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

Such a poetic retelling of their meeting and how many moments must have come together to bring them both to that time and place..

The words “meant to be” are echoing in my brain as I read your tribute to Maile’s father.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thanks, Teyani.

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Kathy's avatar

Oh Shawn, what a beautiful tribute. Jim does live on in our children and grandchildren in their Faces and their mannerisms. I miss him so much.

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Kristine Neeley's avatar

It hit me, sitting in the corner booth of my favorite coffeeshop at the beach, this morning, that my sadness at leaving, this year, is knowing we’re returning to that time of the year where the loss of my father-in-law feels nearest.

It’s been almost two years and still, at times, they come — the waves. Loss… absence… that seeing of a face and a presence so beloved in the ones connected to him by blood, and in my life, by heart.

Thank you for giving words to such a gift of legacy and connection and inevitable grief.

Praying for your family. ❤️‍🩹

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thank you, Kristine.

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Shaista Ali's avatar

I’m grateful to learn about Jim. May he continue to be felt by those he loved.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thanks, Shaista.

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JL Gerhardt's avatar

Beautiful

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Luke's avatar

This is beautiful, Shawn. Grief is so great and weighs so much. Prayers for your navigating these waters.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thanks, Luke.

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Lucy S. R. Austen's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a lovely tribute and meditation.

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Shawn Smucker's avatar

Thank you, Lucy.

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