The fairs are over. Fall has arrived. The nights are chilly and strong gusts of wind bring down a shower of leaves that have only just begun to change. The grass grows slower. There is, in the air and the light, a kind of resignation, an exhale. Shadows creep in around the edges.
This time of year always feels like a crossroads to me, when we return from our long workdays at the Maryland State Fair and the Frederick County Fair. Being separated from my writing for nearly five weeks means I’m coming back with a fresh slate. Maile and I talk a lot about priorities—what are we doing that we don’t want to do anymore; what do we want to continue; what new things are we going to take on?
We’re having a lot of those conversations these days.
I’m feeling a great distance between me and the story I was working on in this space, the one about the Old Woman living in the great estate. To be honest, I feel a great distance between me and my novel writing in general. I don’t have a huge desire to read, which is odd. A great chasm between me and words. I wonder if it is because I have a book out on submission? Is it because I’m in one of those in-between times? Is it because I’m not sure what to work on next or what creative direction I want to go?
Whatever the case, I’m feeling a stillness settle into my bones. At first glance it might seem like a lack of motivation, but on deeper reflection, it feels more like a waiting.
Wait and see. Wait and see. Wait and see.
In the past I might have felt guilty when I stopped working on a project or contemplated putting it on hold. I might have felt afraid—what if I never return to writing?
But this year I feel a sense of peace, a sense of wait and see.
Will you wait here with me and see what happens?
Yes, I will wait here with you and see what happens. For a decade or so, I have appreciated your words and your wisdom when they appear on my radar. They have impacted my journey in significant ways... my journey with words, but also our journey of living on the road for a couple years. I appreciate how your perspective has helped mine. As I read your words this morning, they once again feel timely and quite possibly instructive as I find my balance for this next season.
Still times in a writers life are seldom fallow ground-can't wait to hear what comes next.